The Diva, Surrogacy, and just life in general

WK 3!!!

2010-04-27T18:37:00.000-07:00

So this week I came in @ 10lbs lighter than the week before. Seems as though my 2x's a day/5 days a week regimen has kicked it into high gear! I find myself sweating more often than I used to (letting me know my metabolism is CRAZY!!! This is the most active I have been since.....gosh....2003 I think!! I can truly say that I am much happier these days!!! Can't wait to see what the future holds!!! 16 weeks til my first goal!!

Right now I am @ 249lbs. My goal for the 16 week mark is to be at 200lbs. 16 weeks will be my 29th birthday!!

My new journey......

2010-02-07T09:26:00.000-08:00

As I sit writing this entry, I am in a totally different place than I was a year ago---I feel better....I sleep better....I'm eating better!!!!

My new journey consists NOT of something pertaining to surrogacy, but a LIFESTYLE change that has been loooonnnnggggg overdue! Mama is in the GYM 5 days a week, eating a "little" better (I cheated a couple days, but NOOOO MORE!!!) and just overall trying to reshape a BETTER ME! Please feel free to leave comments, well wishes, funny stories or whatever as we take this ride together. It's all about accountability for me now, so here goes:

I am:

28 years OLD
HEIGHT: 5'9 1/2 (I never leave out the half part...lol)
WEIGHT: a whopping 256 lbs (my highest ever was 260)
WAIST: 41 inches (yeh....that extra skin'll do it!)

My goal:
to bring my waist down to below 34 inches.

WHAT AM I READING?
Right now I am reading Dr. Oz's book YOU ON A DIET. So far so good, there are tips that are very helpful. Its a HUUUGGGEEE book packed with info and I will come back and weigh in on that later.

WHAT I will SHARE in the future here---
Any good recipes I find delicious and nutrition that are easy and/or helpful in this journey! Feel free to share any that you have as well.

OK-----------here goes......NO looking back now!

Planning a Dream wedding after being married for 10 years.........

2009-11-22T19:18:00.001-08:00

Where do I start? We have 18 months until the date, but I want to start now. Help me out people-----what do I need to do!!! Where do I start!!!!

PS3 Link for REFERRALS

2009-11-22T11:28:00.000-08:00

http://www.YourPS34free.com/index.php?ref=6176382
We are working on the PS3.......Almost there!! Send your feedback and link and I will post it once ours is full!! Thanks for stopping by!

Start Christmas in November.......

2009-11-22T11:11:00.000-08:00

I have posted this post countless times, but I am going to do it again for those of you that did not get in on it last year or the year before (when we first started). Let's see, so far we have gotten:

A Wii
2 Ipods
CA$$H!!!

Your turn to join in and have your friends save that money before the holidays!!!

First, let me get the questions out the way for you SKEPTICS (I was one at first as well!!!)

#1- HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??

HOW THIS IS POSSIBLE
In exchange for users registering with an advertiser (also referred to as "completing an offer"), we are compensated for sending advertisers new customers. We then offer you the free gift from a portion of our compensation as a Thank you for using our site.

Examples of advertisers' offers include a variety of free trial offers, advertised products for purchase, credit cards, and subscriptions to membership services. The costs vary by offer. Some are absolutely free and can be discontinued without any further obligation while others may require a small purchase. Please review all advertiser terms thoroughly before registering. If you have any questions regarding any possible charges or advertiser terms, we do encourage you to contact them before hand to ensure that you are fully aware of any associated costs and/or obligation.

That is straight from the horses mouth!!

#2 DO They share your info?
Short Answer is- NO
Long Answer--------------

“Information Sharing and Disclosure
Transcendent Innovations will not sell or rent your personally identifiable information to anyone. Transcendent Innovations may send personally identifiable information about you to other companies or people when: We have your consent to share the information;
We need to share your information to provide the product or gift you have requested;
We need to send the information to companies who work on behalf of Transcendent Innovations to provide a product or gift to you. (these companies do not have any right to use the personally identifiable information we provide to them beyond what is necessary to fulfill your product or gift order.);
We respond to subpoenas, court orders or legal process; or
We find that your actions on our web sites violate the appropriate Term and Conditions. If a user has been found to be attempting to defraud us or our advertisers, their information may be shared with other parties for further analyzation and/or prevent future fraudulent action or activity.”

NEXT go to the perspective website and sign up.........
After you have done that, you want to select the offer you want to complete, I would recommend #1-Instant Offers, and #2- Reading the requirements for such. Some may ask that you complete 20 days of the offer, or some may ask that you not cancel before 30-----_READ, READ, READ!!!!

Finally, forward your LINK to your friends (located on the PROGRESS Page under REFERRAL LINK)

Sit back and wait until your friends complete the referrals and then ORDER your GIFT!!!

Here are a couple of referral sites that you can get either CASH or gifts from

http://www.youripodnano4free.com/index.php?ref=4400841
#1 -NANO options, cash, etc

http://www.YourFreeVideoiPods.com/index.php?ref=4428158
#2-Video IPODs LINK

http://www.YourNintendoWii4Free.com/index.php?ref=4260456
#3-Nintendo WII LINK

http://www.YourFreeiStuff.com/index.php?ref=4407832
#4-IPODs, IPHONE, Apple TV, etc LINK

http://www.YourCamera4free.com/index.php?ref=5384562
#5-High End Cameras OR Cash! LINK

http://www.YouriPodTouch4free.com/index.php?ref=4408456
#6-IPODs or Cash LINK

http://www.3604free.com/index.php?ref=4400937
#7 - 360 w/or w/out games, cash, etc LINK

http://www.YourFreeiPhone.com/index.php?ref=4400897
#8- IPHONE or cash LINK

http://www.360elite4free.com/index.php?ref=4400905
#9- 360elite, cash etc LINK[/URL]

http://www.FlashiPods4free.com/index.php?ref=38157
#10- Flash IPODs, cash, etc LINK

http://www.YourPS34free.com/index.php?ref=6176382
#11- PS3, cash, etc LINK

I feel unimportant..........WHY AM I NOT ON YOUR BLOG?

2009-09-15T18:21:00.001-07:00

So as i sit here with my baby sis, who happens to have an entry on my blog on last month when she delivered, she seems to make mention of the lack of ENTRIES that include her and how "UNIMPORTANT" she feels here........well, just wanted to send a shout out to Latara Shuntae Provo.....you are very IMPORTANT in my life.

YOU ARE---(1) The last of six children, but the first one I was able to visit in the hospital. You are(2) The first sister that I have been present for and watch her children grow and love on them like a real AUNTIE should. All the others I was in the military, so I missed that fun part of being an AUNT. You are---the first to me what I envision a little sister to be. Supportive, loving and veryyyyyyyyyy fun to be around. And most of ALL you are my best friend. UNIMPORTANT you definitely are not. You are very relevant in my life. Without you I would not be able to---have date night with my hubby. Sneak away while you watch the kids and well--------you know-----play house with my hubby. Without you I wouldn't have someone to come over to my house and spend the night just to kick it and laugh at RHWoATL with. Someone to just look at for shits and grins and make fun of when I need a quick laugh. Someone to get me out of my weight loss funk when everyone else says "You need to try harder"....Someone to just be there when I need a shoulder.

Little sis you are the shell in the egg of my life. You hold me together when no one else even cares........or gives a shit. You matter....you will always matter...and for as long as we are sisters you will always REMAIN important in my life. Never forget that you WHORE! (LOL)

The results are in..........

2009-09-15T18:15:00.001-07:00

Yep, you saw it right....BFN. So the question remains..........WTH is wrong with me??? I have now hit the 2 month mark without AF and NO explanation. I am 28---never had this issue before, so the question remains............WTH is wrong with me!>!!??!?!

Today ONLY...Satisfy your sweet tooth for FREE!

2009-09-14T07:04:00.000-07:00

Big SHOUT OUT to the folks over @ Krispy Kreme today! In honor of “National Kreme Filled Doughnut Day” Krispy Kreme is giving customers ONE free kreme filled pastry.

Just walk up to an employee and say, 'Happy National Kreme Filled Doughnut Day’ today and ENJOY!

Remember, it's LIMIT ONE per CUSTOMER!

Oh.........here we go again!! (ANOTHER ONLINE SCAM ALERT!!!!!)

2009-09-12T21:12:00.000-07:00

Another warning to everyone! With the economy as bad as it is, you find people becoming increasingly desperate to find ways to make ends meet---that’s exactly how people become easy prey to NEW scams. There are ways to earn a living without having to PUNCH a clock, but there are equally ways available to put you into debt. Today I will touch on one of them that I found while just “facebooking” (Ok, so maybe that’s not a real word)

Suddenly a pop-up comes up with the following title: “How I got $12,000 in 30 days---the easy way” Sound easy? Well----not so much. A lady by the name of “ERIN” (Or is that really her name…LOL) goes on to explain how she got a government check in the mail within 30 days, blah, blah, blah……….and then the kicker----“I went to the grant website and paid the $3.95 shipping fee, but seriously, for the amount I got back from this, it seems like a joke to me now.” So that quote alone got me to thinking about the ACAI Berry scam , so I put that quote in my search bar and got this (RESULTS)

There was Jason, Rob, and others saying the EXACT same thing she was! FACT IS, you are paying for:

It all starts with a 1-day “Free” trial for a $1.95 shipping fee. If you don’t cancel after 1-day, you will be charged $57.61. As seen in Terms and conditions

So, I am putting you on NOTICE to beware!

Nice little TIP:

If something seems too good to be true, GOOGLE it!!! Take some words from the advertisement, put it in quotes and google it! If you can not find anything there, always scroll down to the bottom of the page and read the TERMS. They list info there....You know for people who don't want to read what they are getting themselves into....LOL

NO News.............

2009-09-12T12:49:00.000-07:00

Sometimes no news is GOOD news, but in this case----no news is disturbing! During the 09/09/09 appt, I had my blood drawn for a beta to be discussed on 09/15......seems like forever!! Oh well.......I guess I will keep tapping my fingers til then...........

(Stop taunting me people!! I won't pee on a stick....I won't!!!)

Restless.........

2009-09-08T22:18:00.000-07:00

I can't sleep.....I keep running through my head wondering WHAT if...this...and what if that.....

Sitting watching my niece sleep reminds me that babies are a blessing. They bring you joy all the while turning your world completely upside down! Tomorrow is here.......I need to sleep until the appointment. Maybe that will make the day go by fast? OR---maybe I'll wake up in 4 more hours thinking that it should already be 1pm.........

And the clock BEGINS to tick.........

And with two days to go........

2009-09-07T10:24:00.000-07:00

I sooooooooo want to go out and buy a test to relieve all this tension. There is a piece of my mind that still hangs on to that surrogate HPTitis.......but then this is different. This could shake our whole little world up----it's ok though.. We're prepared for it. It won't change the fact that next year I am moving forward and going to law school----it will change how much harder I will have to work at it. It will change the NUMBER of family members, but it won't change AMOUNT of love in our family. WHEW!!!!!!!!!!!!! (((Taking a deep breath))))

I just had to get that out........WOOOO SAWWWWWW!

Almost 50 days since..........

2009-09-05T14:56:00.000-07:00

My last period!!! What is going on??!! No indication that my period is coming and my last pregnancy test was negative as of Friday...... WHEREEEEEEEE AREEEEEEEEE YOUUUUUUUUU AF?!!!

Wynter Nicole....

2009-08-19T13:13:00.000-07:00

Is her name! What a beautiful name for a dramatic diva!

These hands are made for delivering babies....

2009-08-18T09:00:00.000-07:00

And really they are!!
My sister had the privilege of delivering her own baby!!! I was shocked to hear it, but nonetheless EXCITED as well!! My niece was born in my older sister's car today weighing 7lbs 5ozs. Welcome to the world Wynter

3 years already?!?!?!

2009-08-09T18:41:00.000-07:00

It seems like only yesterday that I was pushing..........laughing, crying........as my first surrogacy came to an end with the crowing of a beautiful baby girl! I can't believe it's gone by so fast. Happy Birthday Baby J!

Today also marks the first real day that I am starting to look for IPs. I answered an ad....a big step for me. I will probably not be putting one up.......but I will make an effort to answer them. Hopefully soon I will be meeting with IPs and discussing the next step!

Blowing the dust off the pages.........

2009-06-10T20:26:00.000-07:00

FOR sure I'd declared surrogacy as a closed chapter and bid goodbye to the "uterus talks" and pee-stick fantasies....and ..........we'll just surrogacy in general. And then it hit me---I'm not DONE yet!! So-------------The journey begins AGAIN!!!

The Birthday party plans and.... a little twist

2009-04-11T07:27:00.000-07:00

So, it's now less than a week before the actual "All-White" party and I am trying to keep it all together and maintain while planning from TEXAS!!! So here's the details----

This is what I want the centerpieces to look like. I actually did a mock one myself....pics to follow later.

My father has also decided to marry my mother again...28 years strong!!!

This is her surprise wedding dress that I just purchased...

I also have other things to incorporate, but for now that's what we have!

The All White Party

2009-04-07T15:35:00.000-07:00

My father decided he wanted an all white party for his 50th bday....soooooo--------I've had the wonderful task of planning it!!!! (Pics to come) I have decided to Do everything OURSELVES (almost---everything!!)

OK---will update later.

Where have I been??!

2009-03-26T15:39:00.000-07:00

Life is just crazy in GENERAL! NO--I haven't stopped couponing, I've just cut back on blogging!! I shall get back into the swing of things soon......... (((HUGS))) to all!

Oh really.........Isabella, Jenny, Jeny, Jessica, Jillian, Katie, Lauren, Lilly and the rest of those ACAI berry weightloss women!

2009-01-02T15:02:00.000-08:00

I am determined to get this weight off and I told my husband that I was considering the Acai Berry weightloss method to see what happens. I happened upon a blog that mentioned it as well

THE BLOG

I went ahead and ordered the product with my Walmart Debit Card I'd just activated as I was skeptical about using my bankcard. I got the order about 2-3 weeks later in the mail. It came in a envelope with a piece of paper saying thanks and call when you want to cancel.

Something told me to do further research (BEFORE it arrived) and I found SEVERAL sites that were very similar in wording and pictures of progress.

KAREN

SARAH

They all were just about the same words!!!

Then I found this site exposing Acai scams and found a host of other info!

Then I did a little googling and found several sites with the same pic, but different names!

Ann Conrad -personality #1

Naomi Conrad- personality #2

Katie Carson- personality #3

Jenny Conrad- personality #4

Sarah Carson- personality #5

Need I say more? I just quoted a few words from the website and found these results for the SAME picture, different names! Yahoo Search Res ults

Someone came upon the REAL photos and found that they were actually photo shopped and used to build the various sites!

Photos taken from Istock photo and photo shopped for the Acai Berry sites
the blog

I went ahead on Amazon and ordered a bottle for $5.49 +shipping and handling (I went ahead and got 4 bottles) and am assured that I will not be charged any crazy fees for not canceling!!

All in all, I am just writing this entry to alert people to READ before ordering your acai!!! PLEASE be careful!!

CVS trip 12/21

2008-12-21T09:30:00.001-08:00

SO, I hit CVS @ 11:00 pm in order to fill our baskets (my bro, friend and sis went along) and get all the deals done to head back home.

By the end of our trip our oop was $0!!! I totally miss the "old" CVS I experienced when I first came on the scene last year, but FREE is FREE!

Here is a pic from the trip. I am loving all the emails about my old BLOGS and people requesting STEP by STEP help! Keep it coming----I am always up for some teaching!

Time to shop!!!

2008-12-20T13:51:00.000-08:00

The first day in a long time since I have hard core got down and did what I do best!! I can't wait until 11pm so I can rush to my favorite store to clean them OUUUUUUUUUUTTTTTTT!!! LOL. I will post pics and scenarios when I get back!

I DID IT!

2008-12-19T20:03:00.000-08:00

7 days ago, I was invited to become an agent with PRIMERICA.

Since then I have:

1) Submitted my IBA (Independent Business Application)
2) Finsihed a Pre-Licensing Course and..............today, December 19, 2008 I PASSED my exam!!!!!!!!! The exam required a passing score of at LEAST 70%, and I got 80%!!!! I am soooo proud and walking on cloud nine right now! I mean, just 6 days ago I was in a class LEARNING about this business!!

I must admit-------the word independent goes to the CORE of who I am.

I did it! I did it! I did it! I did it! I DID IT!!!!! And now there is NO limitation on my success!

I WILL SUCCEED! SUCCESS IN '09!

My husband's other----other half...

2008-11-25T10:23:00.000-08:00

Today my husband got to visit with his twin, whom his hasn't seen face to face in about a year. I could tell he was sooo happy about the visit....LOL

Time to get more FREE stuff!!!

2008-11-02T14:52:00.000-08:00

In case you missed it last time, I am posting this again for those of you who may be interested. So far there have been MANY who have profited from the free stuff and I hope many more will be added to the list!!! (Chime in if you have also been a recipient). I have gotten 2 IPOD touches and cash to buy a Wii.

Here are a couple of referral sites that you can get either CASH or gifts from

http://www.youripodnano4free.com/index.php?ref=4400841
#1 -NANO options, cash, etc

http://www.YourFreeVideoiPods.com/index.php?ref=4428158
#2-Video IPODs LINK

http://www.YourNintendoWii4Free.com/index.php?ref=4428330
#3-Nintendo WII LINK

http://www.YourFreeiStuff.com/index.php?ref=4407832
#4-IPODs, IPHONE, Apple TV, etc LINK

http://www.YourCamera4free.com/index.php?ref=5384562
#5-High End Cameras OR Cash! LINK

http://www.YouriPodTouch4free.com/index.php?ref=4408456
#6-IPODs or Cash LINK

http://www.3604free.com/index.php?ref=4400937
#7 - 360 w/or w/out games, cash, etc LINK

http://www.YourFreeiPhone.com/index.php?ref=4400897
#8- IPHONE or cash LINK

http://www.360elite4free.com/index.php?ref=4400905
#9- 360elite, cash etc LINK[/URL]

http://www.FlashiPods4free.com/index.php?ref=38157
#10- Flash IPODs, cash, etc LINK

http://www.YourPS34free.com/index.php?ref=4400955
#11- PS3, cash, etc LINK

UPDATE on Surrogate Journey #4

2008-11-01T10:07:00.000-07:00

I never "officially" posted an update here on my blog regarding the status of my journey with L&M.

The transfer did not work. L&M had a consult with their RE (Reproductive Endocrinologist) and he told them that the quality of their embryos wasn't very good and that they should look into an egg donor. I know that this must have been sad news for L, because she is a young woman with no children.

I will continue to support them and hope and pray that their arms are filled with a little one in years to come.

Halloween Pics...

2008-10-31T22:28:00.000-07:00

We usually don't let the children dress up for Halloween, but this year was different. I told my husband I thought it would be ok for them to go into town and do the "Trunk or Treat"...they had a ball!!! They also rode around the neighborhood (with other neighbors) on the back of a trailer and went from house to house.

TRANSFER DAY!!

2008-10-25T09:40:00.000-07:00

@ 9:40am today we transferred 2 of my IP's embabies into me in hopes that they stick around for the next 8+ months!

I have decided this cycle that I will not be a POAS-a-holic like my last few cycles.........we'll see how that holds up!

NOTE TO SELF: ~PRE-TRANSFER~

2008-10-20T06:44:00.000-07:00

NOTE TO SELF

RE: PRE-TRANSFER

Stay positive at ALL times. Do not let the outcome of previous transfers/pregnancies affect your state of mind this time around. Remember that it is out of OUR control and that what is meant to be will be.

Don't forget to eat all the pineapples you can. They taste good...AND it's a myth that they help and fact that they don't hurt! Remember to relax and enjoy the time away from home.

______________________________________
THIS IS IT.....a couple more days and I am off! I can't believe the time has came upon us so fast! I am crazy excited about what is to come and can't wait to hear more updates regarding the embabies!

Last BCP!!! AND a trip to the grocery store

2008-10-02T19:40:00.000-07:00

Finally.........the last pill! I can't wait to get my final AF before we become preggers ***fingers crossed***

And so, I made a trip to the grocery store and paid less than $9 for all this!

Another great shopping trip!

Day 1 in my book

2008-09-26T21:14:00.001-07:00

So I started Lupron tonight and this *officially* feels like the cycle to me! Anything that involves needles is definitely a wake-up call for me that we are getting closer to baby-baking time! I really hope this transfer is successful. My IPs have been through the ringer as far as IVF goes....

On another note, my baby girl turns "5" in 2 weeks and I am just not planning to party.....BOY do I feel busy lately.....and almost like my days are nights...and my nights are days.....

Enough rambling........time for bed!

My free adventures lately!

2008-09-17T14:35:00.000-07:00

So I am back into the couponing "full force" and I have been running like a mad woman from store to store getting massive deals! (will add more pics later)

CD1!!!

2008-08-29T15:45:00.000-07:00

Yesterday made CD41 and was the longest cycle EVER for me!!! I guess the failed cycle did a number on my body, because it took forever to AF to even show her face!!! So, I told my IM over the weekend that I am sure if I go out in white shorts AF would show.........Low and behold I go shopping with my big sister this morning and put on white capris....guess who shows up?! LOL. Forget the raspberry tea..... throw away the hope of knocking boots....BREAK out the white capris!!!

I'm a BIG girl now....

2008-08-28T18:05:00.000-07:00

After I picked Talia up from Pre-K, I decided to go have a "pamper-mommy" session and get a pedicure. As I sat soaking, Talia ran over to me---

TALIA: Mommy, can I get my nails done?
ME: You can get them done when you get a J-O-B.
TALIA: But---I have a dollar! See, I can pay for my own....
ME: Oh, really? Give the lady a dollar and tell her that is how you'll pay for it.
TALIA: OK! Can I pick my color now.

good deal!!!!Needless to say and true to form, she must really have my genes, because she managed to talk to manicurist into painting her nails and TOES for $1!!!! Truly she is my child and recognizes a Talia got her first mani and pedi!!!

Day 2 of school

2008-08-27T15:40:00.000-07:00

Talia is definitely a chip off the old block when it comes to getting up in the morning...LOL.

So, I tried to see her off for her 2nd day and this was her reaction

So much for getting up in the morninG!

1st day of school!!!

2008-08-26T15:16:00.000-07:00

The weekend came and went and Monday passed with the stress of getting ready for school. Well.........today was the day!!! My baby girl started her first day of Pre-K and was sooo excited.

The kids both got up this morning with very little urging---because they were soo excited. Talia chose her outfit the night before and was ready to don her Hannah Montana accessories!

My two little munchkins put there backpacks on and were ready to go!!!

So, the day is over and the last baby bird left the nest....

Day 3 of practice........

2008-08-07T19:58:00.000-07:00

WOOOHOOO GO RAIDERS!!So, as hot as it is in Texas we were back at it again today. I am soo proud of my baby for sticking at this football thing and can't wait for his first game....which happens to be Sept 13!!!!!

Getting it all organized!!!

2008-08-07T08:59:00.000-07:00

For months now my husband has been complaining about his garage and his desire to get his truck in.....but he has been unable to due to my collection of STUFF!!! Diapers, deodorants, toilet paper, paper towels............and the list goes ON!!! So, I decided to look for shelving for the garage and found an amazing deal!!!

Today Korrey and I started the daunting task of getting this mess organized

So far we've completed one side and here are the results!!!

Looks like night and day!!! OK............back to side 2....LOL

Just give me BRACELETS!!!!

2008-08-05T22:22:00.000-07:00

His age? 7 yrs 14 days.
His Accomplishment? One tooth lighter!

As my husband and I examined Korrey's mouth we noticed that not only was his tooth VERYYYYY loose, but apparently it had taken so long to come out that another tooth had grown in under it! I immediately told my husband that he MUST take it out before something worse happens, especially with him playing football now!

SO, low and behold my husband took the old PLIERS in the mouth technique to remove it. We had a couple of tries before my husband was able to successfully remove the little bugar! Apparently all it took was a $2 bribe and talks of showing the crying video to his football buddies...LOL. He manned up and allowed daddy to yank that little tooth out. Then after all was said and done......he had the nerve to act as if he was brave the whole time...LOL. The funniest part of the whole ordeal is when his father made the comment that he will have to get BRACES because of the strange tooth. Korrey shouted "OK! Stop and just give me bracelets then!...." LOL.

Here is the TOOTH Extracting video....Enter at your own risk!!!

As you can probably tell at the end of this clip, my voice says "OMG, OMG!" Well, I had to pause the recording because it all hit me at once that my little boy LOST his first front tooth!!! He is really growing up!!! WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Here is another video for entertainment and possible blackmail when he gets older...LOL

Korrey's 1st football practice.......

2008-08-04T22:04:00.000-07:00

Today was the first practice for Korrey's team and of course here in TX it was like 107 degrees!!! Mentally a person could not be all there with 107 degrees of heat beaming down their neck, but the coaches seemed to keep it all together! I am sure they are used to the heat anyway. Just the heat yesterday had me second guessing whether this was the right decision or not!!! Oh well, after all was over and done with, my son had NO complaints about the heat and was just as excited for tomorrow's practice as he was for the first! I guess BOYS will be BOYS!!

It's official........

2008-08-02T09:17:00.000-07:00

He's growing up!!!!

Today we took Korrey II to get fitted for his football gear. I was about in tears just reminiscing in my mind of those days when he was struggling to walk, or crawl, or brush his teeth.........

Boy does time fly!!! And I think it's falling on me like a ton of bricks!!! At 7 years old, he told me the other day after I called him a child and told him to stay in a child's place "MOM! I'm not a child!!! I'm a little man!" LOL. So, in his mind he thinks he's past that stage in life where mommies can call you a little boy anymore.

As for Talia, today was hard for her too!

She found out that the sign-ups for Cheer leading was closed---broke her little heart!!! I went ahead a bought her a little outfit anyway from Sears ($3)....they had a massive sale!!! So now we are looking for an extra curricular activity to enroll her in. She's most interested in Cheer, but I am sure Dance will do as well.

Oh well.........it's official.......TIME FLIES!!

UPDATE!!!!

2008-07-30T17:21:00.000-07:00

So it looks like we are on for another cycle!!! I am soooo excited and ready to move forward!!! My instructions are to call the NC (nurse coordinator) with the start of my cycle for our next instructions. According to our last cycle we could be transferring around mid September!!!!

Here we go again!!!

Tomorrow, tomorrow..........

2008-07-29T10:54:00.000-07:00

We're only a day away!!!

Tomorrow is the consult with the RE for my IPs!!! I can't wait to hear when we will be able to transfer again........hopefully September will be the month!!!

A Birthday Party for my baby boy!

2008-07-27T10:35:00.000-07:00

Korrey celebrated his 7th the Army way!!! LOL. It was his idea to do the camouflage theme with Tanks, and everything in between. .......so I obliged. I really did not want to see another Army green since getting out in 2003, but it looks like my son is hooked on it!

Here are some pics from the party

Look who's 7!!!

2008-07-22T09:44:00.000-07:00

The number represents sooo much to me! 7 years ago, I was a scared 19 year old child about to give birth to my first child. I can so vividly remember all those feelings of fear and hope and love.....and excitement!!!

Looking at my son---7 years later, I am no less happier now than I was then! In fact, I am so blessed to have had these 7 years to watch him grow into the young man he is now. Every day forward from now is a BONUS in my life!! Only 10 years to go before my baby is graduating from High School!!!

OH Daycare........... here I come!

2008-03-11T14:57:00.000-07:00

Sending Talia to daycare is NEVER easy for me! I guess I have grown accustomed to her being my right hand gal during the day, but she was ready to be OUT!! LOL. The night before she picked out her clothes and told me that she would wake up and get ready herself!! To my surprise, she held out on her word and got up, got dressed, brushed her teeth and met me at the door!! LOL. Gotta love little Miss Sassy!

Where has time gone?

2008-02-10T09:50:00.000-08:00

Today is February 10th......It's been almost 6 months since my D&C and soooooooo much has happened! First off, I am less than 45 days away from graduating with my Bachelors in Criminal Justice. It has been a long road, but I am finally HERE!!!!

Secondly, I have gotten bit by the surrogacy bug AGAIN, so there will be more to come on that.......for now....I'm mum!

Third, as for me, personally..........I am doing great! Life is great, children are great and I am happy that time heals!

XOXOXOXO

Standing still.

2007-08-31T13:47:00.000-07:00

My hands keep getting stuck. I can't find the words for what I am feeling right now. No name for my state of mind. I want to say so much, but nothing comes out. How do I convey what I want to say without sounding crazy at the same time? I can't----it's not possible.

Of course I have blamed myself, my body, and everything that you could possibly fathom. Yesterday I had an ultrasound 1 week post D&C. The RE said that everything looked "perfect". Coming out of the same mouth that I'd heard so many times before, it didn't sound the same. He commented on my lining and I assure you---this time felt different. How can everything LOOK so good and yet go so wrong? I've tried to replay that moment in my mind over and I just can't seem to bring myself to see any true answer why.

My status right now is at a stand still. No answer as to where we go from here until the testing comes back on the fetus. I hope my IPs get answers through this testing. The RE also ordered additional testing on me. One test had to do with clotting (anti-coagulant), while the other had something to do with Lupus. Through research, I saw that one of the symptoms of Lupus was spontaneous abortions. I will worry myself sick if I try to read everything on this disease. I just pray it is not the case with me.

Oh well-----time will pass and soon we will know SOMETHING.......As of now....we are at a stand still.

My 5 Stages of Grief & the D&C update

2007-08-23T13:16:00.000-07:00

On Monday (Aug 20) when I went in for the ultrasound, I remember saying a little prayer in the elevator. "Please Dear Lord let everything be ok today.........." I whispered my prayer as I exited the elevator and up until my hand opened the door of the RE's office. As I sat taping the ultrasound and watched the screen, I felt concerned. Usually you can see the little flicker almost immediately at this point.......I was 9 weeks along. There was no flicker. And as hard as the doctor tried to find it----it wasn't there. Finally he just said "I'm sorry I don't have very good news." But without him telling me----sadly, I already knew. As he mumbled his sorries and "what to do next"......I just remember watching that screen wondering if this was some dream I was in. It couldn't be real. I just went through this in Feb!! I remember wanting to scream & cry at the same time, but my mind reverted to thinking of the couple who had yet to hear this heartbreaking news. I had to keep it together. Long enough to tell them that their baby had passed and that I am here for them through this.

STAGE 1- DENIAL
So I kind of already entered this stage thinking it was a dream and that there was no way it was happening. Well fast forward to my telling my IPs and a day or two later---I still was in denial. You can hear "I'm sorry for your loss.." a million times and it still NOT sink in. So, I moved into a new phase....

STAGE 2-ANGER
The end of January, I was with matched a different couple. That pregnancy ended the same way as this one---almost at the exact time frame. I was 9w5d and the pregnancy ended a week before. How can this be happening AGAIN! I was ANGRY! Angry that this pregnancy ended so early and my IPs will not be cuddling their little one in March. Angry that this occurred the same week as my tentative due date for the pregnancy that ended in January! I am just angry that again---I have to go through another D&C. But then again.....my mind goes back to what my IPs are going through right now and all these feelings of anger seem to fade...

STAGE 3-BARGAINING
Wednesday (Aug 22) was my appointment for pre-op. During that day, I was also going to have the final ultrasound before the procedure. Again, riding an elevator I started pleading with God "Lord, please let there be a "miracle" heartbeat. I promise to not complain during this pregnancy at all no matter what."... Here I am pleading....hoping, wishing, praying that two days passing would change the circumstances. Unfortunately.....It did not happen. So I moved on to the next step....

STAGE 4-DEPRESSION
I skipped this step......My sister, nieces and nephew, my children and my husband forced me to. When I found out the horrible news Monday, I immediately came home to my room and turned off all the lights and pulled the comforter over my head. I sought comfort in this dark place. It forced me NOT to face what happened that day. Forced me not to talk to anyone about it or hear about it. Almost immediately, my sister came into my bedroom and opened ALL the blinds pulled the covers off me and reminded me that although this is horrible news......I can't do my family any justice by being depressed. I agree. For my family's sake---I had to skip this phase.

STAGE 5-ACCEPTANCE
Today (Aug 23) at 7:50 am was the D&C procedure. It's now 3:44pm here and I am ok. I have come to accept the fact that EVERYTHING happens for a reason. As much as it hurts, we can't change what happened. All we can do is move forward knowing that the baby is in heaven watching over us and hope that one day he/she will help usher a brother or sister into this world for my IPs.

The hardest part of these last couple of days was telling my children. Talia is my little inquisitive child, while Korrey often proves to be perplex.

In attempting to explain to Korrey & Talia the loss of our couples baby, I told them he/she is in heaven and watching over us all. Talia then asked "How did he die?" Gosh! It took everything in me NOT to cry. Korrey told me that he'd heard me talking to someone about it and that he was sorry it happened. I then explained to them that we don't have an explanation yet as to why, but we will probably know later. That we don't ask those questions now because only God truly knows why. She then asked "Is [IP's name] sad? Can I make them a card so they can be happy?" Well, I guess that did it for me, because when I told her she could and she left the room to make one....I bawled like a baby. My children are growing up sooooo fast!

I am not sure what the future holds for us, but I do know that for those 9 weeks, I am proud that my IPs were given a joy that can never be forgotten.

So sad for my IPs.........

2007-08-20T17:59:00.000-07:00

Today at the 9w u/s there was no heartbeat found for the baby. This pregnancy has ended. I feel a little helpless. Wishing there was something I could do to fix this......but the fact remains I can't. I will put forth that energy into focusing on what we will do next. Thanks to everyone for their support and I will update more later when I find words.

~HAPPY BIRTHDAY to ME!!!!~

2007-08-16T11:50:00.000-07:00

Today was a beautiful day!! I turned 26 YEARS YOUNG!!! As usual my phone began ringing at 12am with my family calling and singing the great tunes...LOL. For the day, it was just Korrey and I!! The kids were with family enjoying kid-time. We went to dinner and a movie and had a ball!!! One more year of celebrating life and blessings!

HAPPY BDAY TO ME!

~7w2d and FIRST ultrasound~

2007-08-08T19:04:00.000-07:00

Trying hard to hold back tears, but the “soft-side” of me won’t let the tears stop falling. Today had to be one of those “AWWWWWWWWWWWWWW” moments you will always remember when the year anniversary rolls around, one of those moments you know you want to have a camera with you just to capture the “realness” of it all, and finally one of those moments you are equally grateful to have been apart of.

Today my IPs arrived for our first appt with the RE (reproductive endocrinologist) to check the status of "operation baby". We were looking to see: how many and whether the heartbeat could be seen at this point.

As we arrived for lunch, my heart began to pound harder and harder and I had to BEG my husband to calm me down....LOL. The anticipation of the appointment mixed with seeing my IPs again and knowing that today would mark a day that would change their lives...........it was scary to say the least. I was a little nervous, in part, because a friend of mine who has a gift for seeing some things told me a little of what the days events would go like. #1 she warned me that someone would order a Chicken Salad and #2 that she wasn't sure if she saw two babies or one, but she was SURE she saw ONE heartbeat, so don't be worried if there are two babies, but one heartbeat. As we sat for lunch, my IM explained that they already scanned the menu and were ready to order. I asked what she was ordering.................Chicken Salad!! LOL. I could kind of tell we were all kind of nervous, except Korrey (my husband)...he is sooooooo laid back and talkative...LOL.

Once lunch was finished, we drove over for the sono appt. As we sat in the room waiting for the ultrasound tech to do what she does best, we all just watched the screen. Luckily Korrey was able to capture part of those moments on video (BEWARE: the room is a little dark, but you can hear everyone if you turn your speakers up)

Where did my food go?

2007-08-03T10:12:00.001-07:00

Well, this morning was hard. When I woke up it was about 2am or so and it wasn't because I wanted to watch T.V. or play or the computer. Somehow my body gave in to morning sickness!!! Lately I have been just nauseous and depending on the smell, I might gag a bit, but this morning it was horrendous!!! I am just now feeling well enough to lie down and rest a bit and it is 12pm!!! At about 10am after about 6+ hours of horrid nausea and vomiting spells, I decided to hit the nearest Walmart for some stuff to help me out! Well.......off to bed I go!

Update

2007-08-02T11:00:00.000-07:00

So, it looks like the u/s will be moved up to sooner than Aug 22!!! I can't wait to see the looks on my IPs faces when they see their baby for the first time!!! The countdown begins!

First u/s scheduled

2007-07-20T14:22:00.000-07:00

I talked to my IM today and the first u/s has been scheduled and they are coming!!! YAY! I can't wait until then so that they can see their little one on the u/s screen. Due to their scheduling constraints the u/s will not be done until Aug 22 (9w3d).......WHAT?! LOL. How can you wait that LONG??!!! I guess we shall see!

Beta numbers!!!

2007-07-16T14:19:00.000-07:00

Here are numbers for 11dp3dt pregnancies:

Singleton: 19, 20, 23, 23.4, 36, 39, 40.4, 48, 43, 45, 51, 61, 69.57, 71, 77, 77, 95.7, 98, 99, 107, 121, 123, 132, 132, 154, 199, 208, 329, 382

Twins: 40, 67, 69, 90, 102, 142, 149, 157, 163, 171, 173, 187, 209, 216, 275, 288, 293, 333, 352, 354, 461

Our number was 211!! My IPs are EXPECTING!!!

It's been long enough........(TRANSFER STORY)

2007-07-13T14:59:00.000-07:00

TRANSFER STORY

We had been preparing for a transfer date of Saturday, 07-07-07 (5 day transfer), knowing full-well that it was possible to also transfer on Thursday, July 5. The thaw of 8 embryos began on Monday, July 2. By Day 1, there were 4 embryos left and all of them were looking good. By Day 2, there were still 4 embryos left, but one did not look so good. I was then given a call that afternoon to tell me that there was a 90% chance that we would transfer the next day, making it a 3 day transfer. I immediately went into “transfer mode”……laying out my good luck charms and eating my good luck pineapples. I had already received my transfer tee and was ready to put it on for the next morning!!

The night before the tentative transfer was hard. It was very hard to sleep knowing that tomorrow was totally out of our hands. I was given a time to be there of 11:30 and was very happy that my husband would be joining me for this transfer (he’d never gone before to the previous two). Morning came as fast as night fell and I remember looking at the clock and telling my DH to get up and get moving. I made sure he fell into the "superstition" and wore GREEN...LOL We left the house and arrived at the hospital for the transfer (TOO early, might I add) and left to get breakfast. This morning, breakfast tasted different. It was almost like a “victory-breakfast” for me. I knew that in just a short couple of hours, my IPs sweet little embabies would be snug in my womb preparing for the next 8+ (not 9…get it right!) months. My husband downed his breakfast and we both chatted about what was to come.

We waited for the clock time to pass and as you well know, if you look at the clock it will only go slower.

Finally, we were given the ok to go back and prep for the transfer! I was sooooooo excited and scared and happy all at the same time! Before we were taken back, we were given a picture of the embryos and told that they both were 10-celled (3-day) embryos and that one of them was grade 1, while the other was grade 2.

The transfer went great! I was very relaxed (even though I did not take my valium pill) and was very calm about everything. It was very relaxing to have my husband there also as he was very curious (and asking questions....shhhhh!! LOL)

This picture was before the transfer

And this is me after

I also had my DH take a picture of the clock to let me know EXACTLY when a full day was over (for testing purposes...LOL)

After the transfer, we went back to the hotel where we met my bestest surrobud, Raine! She was very nurturing and fun!! We ate and ate til we almost burst...LOL.

Things were looking up and I was dosing off!
Superstitious fries

beautiful arrangement my IPs sent

me and my honey

PART II-HPT-itis

Of course, I knew I would be POAS. I said that from day ONE and I had 180+ tests to help me with that addiction! My first test after transfer was on 1dp3dt. I “knew” it would be negative, so there was definitely NO disappointment there! I decided (or maybe my husband decided FOR me…LOL) to wait until 3.5dp3dt to try testing again. A little after 8am, the test was negative, so I just chalked it up to being too early! No biggie, still plenty of time to get a beautiful positive. Besides, this was a FET (frozen embryo transfer) and it seemed almost norm to get a positive later with those. Well, the pee sticks kept staring BACK at me and asking me to use them, so I obliged later that day at 4.5dp3dt. The test looked negative after a couple of minutes, so I put it in my baggie stash and decided to wait til 5.5dp3dt to test again. It was STILL EARLY!!! So, the next day at 5.5dp3dt----------I tested. I waited for the test to reveal to me what I already knew it would (a negative), but to my surprise------it did JUST the opposite!! And I am not talking a faint, faint line you have to hold up to the light, shift positions, and take apart to see. THERE WAS really a positive there!! So, something prompted me to open my POAS baggie (with old tests) and see if the one from yesterday was still the same. LOW and BEHOLD, that test was a very faint positive! WTH? That means that at 4.5dp3dt with 2 frozen embies, I was getting a POSITIVE…..faint-----but the line was THERE! At this time I was probably panicking a little more than I should have. I mean, I converted the numbers and that was equivalent to 2.5dp5dt! Is that even possible?! I must admit that at first I was VERYYYYYYYYYY skeptical. Then I thought back to the tests I’d used. OSOMs don’t get EVAP lines. So, I decided to test other tests. I looked back at the expired tests I’d peed on that morning and they were faint positives too! I was on a roll!! But then I thought about a post a friend made about running the test under tap water and getting a positive. SO, I did and-------it was! LOL. A very faint line was there. But the flip side was, I was not getting positives on it until 5.5dp3dt. So I continued to use them and watch the line get subsequently darker with each testing. I even tested out a cute little FRED and got a faint line there too! It was addicting as I thought it would be, but I did not think that I would get positives this early! Finally on 6.5dp3dt, I took a digital and it told me what the others already did----PREGNANT! Today is 8dp3dt and I will no longer test until Monday morning (beta day) just to see the line darker. Just a side note……..180+ tests are definitely TOO MANY! I think I went through less than half of that and still have tons left. I guess it’s time to give them away! LOL
progression of OSOM tests getting darker

5.5dp3dt OSOM

Wondfo progression pics

all the positive tests

the positive Digital

me holding the digital

Part III- Breaking the news

I wanted to do something VERY special. Something that will leave an everlasting “imprint” in their minds about their experience and how they were told/found out. I thought back to the fact, as a woman, no matter how LONG ago----you remember the MOMENT you were told or FOUND OUT you were pregnant. I wanted to bring the same element to this surprise. I wanted it to be more than a phone call from the RE with the beta results---soooooo much more. SO, I sat for a minute a brainstormed about ideas of HOW to break the news to my IPs. I figured I would surprise my IM first and give her the opportunity to do what she wanted to tell my IF. I wanted her to have some control over the announcement for her husband. SO finally I got the greatest idea and I consulted a few people to help me figure it out. My IM works very hard and I knew that when she found out she would be at work, so I decided to include her assistant in the “surprise”. I called her office and funny enough…..EVERY time I called----she answered! I mean for 2 days, I was calling making up excuses WHY I was calling…….LOL. “Oh, I’m sorry---I dialed the wrong number. I was trying to call my mother” –or- “Just checking to see if you talked to the RE about the beta and if they would call you or me first…” –or- once, I had my little sister grab the phone and say “did someone call L---?” she was pretending as if the number was on the caller id and she was wondering who it was…..it was HORRIBLE! So finally I called on day 2 and the assistant picked up! I was estatic! I explained the details of the surprise and she was ALL FOR IT! Could things go that perfectly? OK, so here are the details:

I decided to have an “office treasure-hunt” done. She would participate thinking that it was “office-related”, not knowing that it was about her. The treasure hunt consists of 3 clues….

Clue 1# The best part of waking up is Folgers in your cup!
CLUE #1 would be “the coffee pot”, where clue #2 would lie

Clue #2: All employees should wash hands before returning to work.
CLUE#2 would be “the sink”, where clue #3 would lie

Clue #3: Your workspace should always reflect who YOU are.
CLUE#3 would be “her desk” where THE BOX would be sitting.

On her desk would sit the box with a couple of things in it.

#1- a heartfelt card that says a lot!! The envelope says: YOU ARE A MOMMY!

#2 is a Willow Tree keepsake box with the positive HPT enclosed

#3 is a cute bear (found at Hallmark) that has a shirt that says “BABY ON BOARD”

Here is a pic of all the stuff together. I also included a book that is titled “Mom Moments”

So, today at about 2:30 pm, my IM found out that they are EXPECTING!!! When I spoke with her on the phone AFTER she completed the treasure hunt clues, she was almost speechless. One thing I remember her saying is that she needed instructions to read the OSOM pregnancy test. That put everything into perspective of how special this WAS for her. This was her first REAL live positive pregnancy test and without HER/HER DH it would not have been possible! I love miracles!

GO to sleep!!

2007-06-28T01:39:00.000-07:00

My sleeping schedule is ALL thrown off! Since my sister and her kids have been staying with me, my pattern has been thrown all out of whack! I try to make it to bed by 9pm, but it seems by that time I get this amazing surge of energy and can't close my eyes. My husband has been of no assistance either, as he wants me to stay up every night with him and watch movies!! I start watching the movie and like clock work, every night, about 30 minutes into the movie, my eyes begin to get heavy and I just doze off....LOL. Here it is....now 1:35 am, and I am still AWAKE!! I have an appointment in the morning and I have to leave here by 8!!! What am I thinking? I guess I will update more about my surrogacy process tomorrow after the appointment. Right now, I need to get my butt in the bed!!! SEE YA!

It's not just OJ!!!

2007-06-18T10:58:00.000-07:00

I woke up this morning for my usual breakfast and to my suprise my orange juice EVEN revealed a GREAT sign to me!! The BEST BY date is the same as my transfer date!! Most people would look at the date and just chalk it off to being "just OJ".......for me....it was more than that!! It was my one of MANY signs that date is the DATE to get preggo!! Ok, YES I took a picture!! LOL

Trip to the Barber Shop....

2007-06-16T15:38:00.000-07:00

Today we took my nephew and son to the barber shop to get a hair cut. Unlike my normal trip to the Barber Shop, this time we had 5 children in tow! My son was ok with the haircut, but not too thrilled about the wait!!! LOL. While we waited for them to get their hair cut (which was about 3 hours), I took some funny pics of the kids waiting.

The new WHIP!!

2007-06-14T17:07:00.000-07:00

Today I went and accepted delivery of my new 2007 Honda Civic!! I soooo love the interior and ride!! It gets about 30 miles in town and 40 mpg on the highway!! We are sooo happy!!

Happy days are here again!!

2007-06-13T12:04:00.000-07:00

So, this morning I took my final Provera pill and went to the car dealership with my husband to pick out the vehicle of our choice. We arrived home around noon and AF arrived as I walked in the house!! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!! We are one step closer to our transfer!! I am sitting here antsy waiting for the nurse to call my for my first u/s (probably Friday). Looks like our transfer should be on or around July 2!!!

Ode to Focus............

2007-06-08T11:43:00.001-07:00

Today I went to collect the last of my things from my car that was totaled in the accident. It was hard opening the door and getting all my stuff out, but I know that it was not salvageable. I try to remain positive about the turn of events with everything and it still feels like the ceiling is falling in on me and I can not seem to find cover fast enough. Growing up, my mother always told us that everything happens for a reason and that when everything comes at you ALL at once, remember........there is a BLESSING coming! Below is the last picture of the car before the insurance company OWNS it!!!

canceled...

2007-06-04T13:00:00.000-07:00

Today I received a phone call from the Nurse Coordinator at the clinic telling me that the transfer was canceled. We are moving forward and preparing for a transfer for the first week of July.

One stick closer!!

2007-06-03T22:52:00.000-07:00

Today was my first PIO (progesterone in oil) shot! No matter how many times you do it (every cycle), the first shot is the SCARIEST!!! I have (and always will) administer my own shots from the first time I did started doing them. I literally have to stand in front of the mirror and talk myself into calming down before relaxing. It's a fun "episode" to watch. After the first shot, every shot following gets easier. I have a little voice in my head saying "One step closer to making them (my IPs) parents" and it gets me through it.

Today my voice told me that the 10 minutes it would take me to get through that shot could NEVER compare to the years my IPs have endured without a baby.........so I just pushed through it----and each night will be easier. For the 12 weeks or so that I will have to give myself the shot, I will be ok. Face it............I could have been years without having my own children and had more to pain to endure, so for that, I am grateful and ONE stick closer to building a family!

Addicted to HPTs!

2007-06-02T11:51:00.000-07:00

Here we are days away from the transfer and I am STOCKING up!! This transfer will be different, because my IPs don't want to have the results of my PEE-fest, so this time around I will have to keep it ALLLLL to myself!! What TORTURE!

Acupuncture Appt #2

2007-06-01T23:45:00.000-07:00

This appt was different from the first, because I had the "JOY" of taking Talia & Korrey along. LOL. All of a sudden while laying on my stomach, I hear a snapping sound! Korrey went into my purse and began to snap pictures of me laying down!! LOL Here is one from his collection

The countdown begins....

2007-05-30T11:00:00.000-07:00

I had an appt today for my final lining check to ensure that my lining is plump and ready for the transfer. Ideally, most REs want your lining to be at least a 7 before transfer. Today mine was a 13.3! Usually around this time it is between 9-10. GO LINING GO! I guess my lining is performing well in order to cuddle one or two of those beautiful babies for my IPs!!! Can't wait til next week when the babies are ready for us!!! YAYYY!!!!!! Only 4 more days before I start my shots!

The END of my great visit with mom!

2007-05-27T17:12:00.001-07:00

Today was my mother's last day here. I had soo much fun with her being here and taking my mind off EVERYTHING and just relaxing! I can't wait until her next visit here because she gives me a CALMMMMM that I need right now! LOL. LOVE YA MAMA!!

~National Seat Belt Week~

2007-05-26T21:36:00.000-07:00

The week of May 21-28 is National Buckle Up America! EVERYONE is encouraged to wear their seat belts in recognition of this time (should ALWAYS wear one anyway!).

I was ONE of those people wearing mine this week and it could have very well saved my life. Yesterday (5/25) I was in a car accident. The driver in the opposite car, in an attempt to speed in front of me, caused the collision. His car and mine had to be towed, because they both could not be driven. Below are pics of the the mark the seatbelt made on my neck. The first is the day of the accident and the second one is today (the next day). SEAT BELTS save lives people! (even if they bruise you a bit)

Happy Birthday MOM!

2007-05-24T17:15:00.000-07:00

My mother has arrived for her weekend visit with us!! Today is her 46th birthday and I am sooo happy that she could spend it with me! We first visited my brother's place (pictured above) and went to my house afterwards.
Mom stepping in and doing yard work on her DAY OFF!

Reading stories at night to Talia and Korrey.

This has really been the best visit seeing my mother interact with my children and my children enjoying time with their grandma!

A Perfect 10!

2007-05-23T11:55:00.000-07:00

Today was my first lining check after starting estrogen and my lining was a 10! The RE's office wants the lining to be at least 8mm at this point and they said it looks great! I am sooo happy for my IPs!! I can't wait.........oh wait........I have to....LOL.

ACCU-PUNCH-HER!

2007-05-22T16:04:00.000-07:00

Just as the title says is how I felt midway through the session.......like I wanted to PUNCH HER! LOL. After the stick the needles (pictured below) into your back, which does not hurt at all, they push them in further to find your "pressure points". Upon finding the pressure points, they attach wires to the needles (also pictured below) and the wires deliver a vibration that travels through the needles into your back.....a nice feeling, I might add! Upon removing the wires and needles, I was then given the massage, which felt SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO good!!! I would go back every week just for that part of the session!!

So as it stands, I have a lining check tomorrow and will continue accu-punch-her until the transfer! Can't wait until the next session........it's a very relaxing experience (at least the end of it)

Getting to the CORE of it all!

2007-05-21T18:35:00.001-07:00

When it comes to IVF/surrogacy different people have their different "superstitions". Mine happens to be one of my favorite fruits~ PINEAPPLE!! (pictured above) It is also rumored that the CORE of the pineapple contains enzymes that aid in embryo implantation. Simply great in my eyes..........even though it is "superstition", i get to endulge in one of my fav foods and have an EXUSE to do so!!! LOL. Now...........off to getting to the CORE!

~One step closer!~

2007-05-09T21:37:00.000-07:00

Received an email today from my IF that we are one step closer to operation Baby *Tinker* (Tinker, if a boy/Tinkerbell, if a girl). Our gestational surrogate agreement was VALIDATED today!!! I am sooooooo happy!! With my previous arrangement, this step was not done until AFTER the pregnancy was established. Some attorneys eliminate this step prior to the transfer and some wait until after the pregnancy has been established to do so. There are pros and cons to both:

-AFTER-
pro: save financially on the cost of legal fees in the event the match is unsuccessful and no baby results from it.

con: during the journey an array of things could happen to prevent a timely filing -or- employing an attorney that drags feet about the whole process.

-BEFORE-
pro: less worry during the journey about taking care of this step because it is already taking care of

con: financially taking care of a step that could not be utilized

Either way, it really depends on the parties and their comfort level regarding how to go about handling this step. In this case, my IPs wanted to take care of it as soon as possible (less stress about it later) and I was happy to help in any way that I could! One step closer to my IPs welcoming a baby into their loving arms!!

XOXOXOXOX

Progress is ALWAYS good!

2007-05-06T10:12:00.000-07:00

So far everything has been going according to planned and we are getting VERY close to the big day!! (haha....you'll never know!) The testing done last week went great and the RE said that everything looks "beautiful"!! My IPs are very estatic and are beginning to get even more "giddy" about it all. On Thursday, I received the sweetest bouquet of flowers from them that said "Thanks for Everything.....we are sooo excited!!!" It was a really nice touch! I feel like i have sooo much to say, but that I really can not begin to put it in words! Hopefully, February of next year, my IPs will be welcoming a new addition to their family!! Send those (((BABY VIBES)))

XOXOXOXOXO

Just a small update

2007-04-13T17:50:00.000-07:00

Everything is going great!! I have a couple of interviews with a couple of law firms in the area and I am just over excited about what the week will be like next week!

On the surrogacy front, we have our first appointment scheduled and we will be doing a FET (frozen embryo transfer). Surely, not to disappoint----suspense IS still my middle name. I will update again regarding the progress probably after the FET is already done.........who knows?? Stay tuned, you may just get a sneak peek!!! LOL

My heart skipped a beat!

2007-04-07T20:19:00.000-07:00

There are some events in life that we experience,
which cause our hearts to either race or skip a beat.
A couple that stands out for me are:

Dec 28, 1999-The first day I met my soon-to-be husband.
At the time,he was the mail room clerk for my new unit
in Germany. I was greeted by this statuesque of a soldier
who bore a kool-aid smile and a newly shaved head. I
remember looking into his eyes and bearing witness to
a feeling I believe I would later calculate as
"love at first sight". My heart beat a little faster
and then as if a natural response to
those feelings--it skipped!!

THUMP, THUMP..........THUMP!

The second event that stands out would be July 22, 2001,
the birth of my first born. Looking down at such an
innocent being and realizing that just two seconds before
I'D pushed him into this world as MY BABY BOY---
oh the feeling! Even with the remnants of what
I would refer to as his temporary house for 9 months
still freshly on parts of him, he still looked and smelled
like pure heaven to me. As he lay in my arms and I attempted
to coax him to my breast, my husband whispered his name.  
As if he'd by instinct remembered the voice from when
he was inside the womb listening to bedtime stories,
or his father singing "ready for baby" songs,
he opened his eyes and turned his head to find the voice.
At THAT moment---my heart skipped a beat!!

THUMP, THUMP..........THUMP!

October 10, 2003-Fast forward to 2+ years later and
I am yet again holding ANOTHER beautiful baby of mine!
She lay in my arms quiet and oblivious to HOW special 
she was. My mother witnessed the very moment she entered
this world and was able to cut the cord
(my husband missed the birth by 3-5 minutes). Looking at
my daughter in the arms of the woman who birthed me
into this world caused my heart to skip a beat...maybe two!

THUMP, THUMP..........THUMP!

August 9, 2006- This moment was a moment that still
to this day causes me to pause and remember how many
amazing people had a hand in such an amazing event!
Moments after the birth of my surro-daughter and while
still literally in stir-ups, I turned to my right and
could just clearly see a mother and father enjoying
their little GIRL! Tears came naturally for me as
I watched a look in their eyes that I could NEVER forget.
That of gratefulness coupled with joy for many years to come
with a child ushered into this world through a joining of
love and trust of two families. At that very moment---
my heart began to race! It was a feeling of excitement,
knowing that the best was yet to come!
Baby J was finally here and
finally with her mommy and daddy!

THUMP, THUMP, THUMP, THUMP, THUMP!!!

Well as I look back at those moments,
I can say that they truly will continue to flood my mind
over the years as my children grow, marriage grows and I
continue to bear witness to the growth of Baby J.
They will truly stand out as
"unforgettable moments" in my life.
 
April 7, 2007- At about 11:20, my husband, my children and I
were greeted by a East Coast couple whom I will refer to as
Peter (like Peter Pan) & Wendy (will explain later).
When we walked into the hotel lobby to greet P&W,
I remember looking around the corner and seeing
her face light up as we turned the corner.  She stood
and walked towards me with a "cheezy" grin.
As we met, she embraced me. That moment---
MY heart skipped a beat!

THUMP, THUMP..........THUMP!

The day went off without a hitch! My children bonded with P&W,
as did my husband as I! I can't believe that I am 
MATCHED for yet another journey!! The best is YET to come!!!

Why Peter & Wendy--simply to keep their names private..LOL.
I could have used P&amp;amp;O (Popeye & Olive Oil),
but I told a friend she could.

SO NERVOUS!!!

2007-04-04T16:53:00.000-07:00

It's only 3 days away and I am suddenly finding myself being a bundle of nerves! I talked to my husband yesterday about the EVENTS to come and he is just as excited as I am!!! Well-----I will keep everything on the hush UNTIL Sunday!! Then I will update with how everything goes!!!!

I was April FOOLed

2007-04-01T08:23:00.000-07:00

My cell phone rings, I awake from my sleep to answer it. I glance at the caller id and notice a familiar number....

"Hello.......Hey Mama"

I grunt as I swing my legs over the bed.

"Tashia!! How do I get to your house from this bridge?"

she asks, her phone breaking a little between the pause.

"Mama!! Are you in TEXAS??!!!"

I jumped out of my bed--dressed as I came into this world, fumbling through my dresser to find something to mask my post-pregnancy body that over the past couple of weeks has began to shrink a bit.

"How do I get to your-----"

I cut her off, because I am literally in awe that my mom has hidden this from me. Hidden the fact that she would take it upon herself to drive 10 hours just to see me!!!

"Mama, are you really here?"

I asked, one leg in a pair of cotton candy colored Terry Shorts.

"Latashia---this bridge is----APRIL FOOL!!!"

My mouth dropped and so did my phone and hopes that---right outside my door would stand the woman who gave life to me, to whom it has been more than a year since I'd laid eyes on and gave the biggest hug to. I pause and say,

"That is one cruel joke!"

Ladies and gentlemen, I was FOOLED!

I WILL get there......

2007-03-28T20:04:00.000-07:00

I am very gracious for this time in my life. I have reevaluated the people that I have chose to surround myself with and just life in GENERAL. This week has been a GREAT week! Talia went to daycare for the first time Monday and I have started my job search!!! I have been a SAHM/WAHM for about 3 years now and I sat back and realized that a majority of my schedule was consumed with online activity, ramblings about "clapping OUR hands and learning something new...."(Blue's Clues) or " "Bing bang diggiriggidong" (Lazytown)---oh, let's not forget " do-do-do-do-dora!" making us grab our backpack!!! LOL. Honestly I have found that my day is filled more with television and computer-time than is normal. These last couple of days have been very different for me. Rising at 6 am and hitting the pavement non-stop until the last munchkin is tightly nestled in her bed before starting this cycle all over again the next morning.....

Just to sum up my interaction with potential Intended Parents--things are great! I have a pretty great feeling that something will happen soon enough and while I wait, I hum the tune to a song by one of my fav Man Band(s)--Boyz II Men, entitled "I will get there"

I've been wanderin' 'round in the dark
Been lost somewhere where no light could shine on my heart
I have known a pain so deep
But I know my faith will free me
[Get there] And I'll get through this
[Get there] I'll find my way again
So don't tell me that it's over
'Cause each step just gets me closer
(I will get there) I will get there
(I will get there) I will get there somehow
Cross that river (Cross that river)
Nothing's stoppin' me now
I will get through the night (Oh, yes, I will)
And make it through to the other side
(Get there) Get there
(Get there) Get there

Who knows? Soon enough things will happen and I will look back at this waiting period as paving the way for my next great set of IP's!! In the meantime--in between time---I am enjoying my family and just being ME!!

Drama, Love, Relationships

2007-03-21T12:52:00.000-07:00

Its about drama and love and 'lationships
and when the going gets tough you deal with it
and you dont ever, you never walk away from it
you hold on, you be strong
its about drama and trust and making it
if your somebody mess up you take it in
dont let nobody come between you, you just stay with them

OK, so what if the song was about LOVE..LOL. It almost feels proper for what I am going through.

"THE DRAMA"

Issues! Issues! Issues!! At one point, I would say that I was pretty "ok" about sharing attorneys with IPs. My last arrangement definitely threw me for a loop on that decision. Since the "break-up" there has been constant bickering back and forth regarding bills. NOW the attorney's office claims that they DO NOT handle these disputes. Well--my question is--what DO you handle? I guess any disputes arising out of the contract have to be mediated or mitigated through the legal system, depending on the amount of damages.

Oftentimes, I wonder how something so "perfect" could end in disaster. The ONLY theory I am able to derive from such a confusing instance is---"EVERYTHING happens for a reason". I am in the process of starting a new journey and I must admit that I have gone forth with much caution. I have often compared surrogacy arrangements to that of marriage. This phase, I would call "the messy divorce".

"THE LOVE"

My family has been nothing but supportive!! I am so happy and blessed to have a very supportive husband and children that understand.

"THE RELATIONSHIP"
When everything is great, the love is there----It's a real relationship that endures through it all.

~What is a D-I-V-A?~

2007-03-18T15:05:00.000-07:00

A Diva is a woman who by all accounts is smart & talented.

According to American Hertiage Dictionary, a Diva is "an operatic prima donna."

Most would use the word "stuck-up" or "conceited" interchangeably when "reserved" and "confident" seem more fitting.

A diva can at times be bitchy and in the same breath revert to her sweet ole' self. A diva can be anything she wants at any given time, because---she CAN.

A diva has a personality that could fill any room she walks in. She just gives off that "vibe".

Every woman can not be a Diva, it's not possible.

Just a note to all---on August 15, 1981----a Diva was born!

She showed up today!

2007-03-17T20:04:00.000-07:00

Many would wonder who "she" is, but if you are a surrogate, you can understand my excitement about my period being here.......LOL Yeh, it's merely insane to wish for a thing you curse once it's here, but it's "surro-nature".

Today marked the end of Spring Break for my son and the beginning of bliss for me!! Monday he will return to school as usual and I will return to loving my days of "relaxation". Lately, I have been pondering the idea of becoming a school teacher. Although, I would love to go back to the work force, I equally enjoy my time with my two angels and I know that teaching offers that flexibility--plus, I get to make a difference in the lives of young children. Teaching takes me back to the days of elementary. There were two teachers that influenced me that I would never forget. One of them died shortly after I went to the military, but the other (still alive) takes time out for me whenever I go home to visit. To know that one day I could do for someone what they did for me is a motivator for me.

This week was very slooowww. My whole family became ill with strep and the flu and we were out of commission until just recently. I am feeling alot better, but I still have a little of the "sniffles" left. Today I watched "Run's House" marathon and saw previews of the newer show to come on. I had NO idea that his wife, Justine had given birth in Sept '06 and that their baby girl died shortly after!!! THAT was really sad! From stories I read on the net, it was rumored that she was born with a rare condition where her insides were out. Very sad and I am very sad for that family.

How are things going for me on the surrogacy front? They are ok. I am VERY cautious, though. Alot of my surro-friends are saying "Take time to get to know them! You have to get to know them" Honestly, after my last experience I have learned that it could easily go either way. You could know someone for years and the relationship go to hell -OR- you could meet a family and develop a lifelong friendship. I guess I will take my chances with the latter. Reality is, I am doing this to help complete a family. A relationship after for me is a bonus. Although I know that having one after COULD happen, I also know that it COULD NOT. As long as my husband is on board and honestly gives me his views, I am ok with moving forward right now.

One thing I have noticed a lot with matching is the anxious feeling. The "let's get it on" and no, not like Marvin Gaye--feeling for all parties involved. I think that only time will tell what will happen and I am all for that. I am all for being a vessel once again to helping a family's dreams come true.

Well, the pizza man is here and I have to run!

~LA

A new day!

2007-03-16T23:04:00.000-07:00

SOOOOOOOOO much has happened since the I had my blog made private and it would take days, maybe weeks to even update about it, so I will just give a brief opening to this new blog-----I am back and looking for new IPs! I am however talking to some PIPs, but nothing is written in stone yet. We shall see where the wind takes me over these next couple of weeks.....

It's pretty late here, so I am signing off, but I will update more later.

**DIVA-licious!!

The Diva, Surrogacy, and just life in general

WK 3!!!

My new journey......

Planning a Dream wedding after being married for 10 years.........

PS3 Link for REFERRALS

Start Christmas in November.......

I feel unimportant..........WHY AM I NOT ON YOUR BLOG?

The results are in..........

Today ONLY...Satisfy your sweet tooth for FREE!

Oh.........here we go again!! (ANOTHER ONLINE SCAM ALERT!!!!!)

NO News.............

Restless.........

And with two days to go........

Almost 50 days since..........

Wynter Nicole....

These hands are made for delivering babies....

3 years already?!?!?!

Blowing the dust off the pages.........

The Birthday party plans and.... a little twist

The All White Party

Where have I been??!

Oh really.........Isabella, Jenny, Jeny, Jessica, Jillian, Katie, Lauren, Lilly and the rest of those ACAI berry weightloss women!

CVS trip 12/21

Time to shop!!!

I DID IT!

My husband's other----other half...

Time to get more FREE stuff!!!

UPDATE on Surrogate Journey #4

Halloween Pics...

TRANSFER DAY!!

NOTE TO SELF: *~PRE-TRANSFER*~

Last BCP!!! AND a trip to the grocery store

Day 1 in my book

My free adventures lately!

CD1!!!

I'm a BIG girl now....

Day 2 of school

1st day of school!!!

Day 3 of practice........

Getting it all organized!!!

Just give me BRACELETS!!!!

Korrey's 1st football practice.......

It's official........

UPDATE!!!!

Tomorrow, tomorrow..........

A Birthday Party for my baby boy!

Look who's 7!!!

OH Daycare........... here I come!

Where has time gone?

Standing still.

My 5 Stages of Grief & the D&C update

So sad for my IPs.........

~*HAPPY BIRTHDAY to ME!!!!*~

~*7w2d and FIRST ultrasound*~

Where did my food go?

Update

First u/s scheduled

Beta numbers!!!

It's been long enough........(TRANSFER STORY)

GO to sleep!!

It's not just OJ!!!

Trip to the Barber Shop....

The new WHIP!!

Happy days are here again!!

Ode to Focus............

canceled...

One stick closer!!

Addicted to HPTs!

Acupuncture Appt #2

The countdown begins....

The END of my great visit with mom!

~*National Seat Belt Week*~

Happy Birthday MOM!

A Perfect 10!

ACCU-PUNCH-HER!

Getting to the CORE of it all!

~*One step closer!*~

Progress is *ALWAYS* good!

Just a small update

My heart skipped a beat!

NOTE TO SELF: ~PRE-TRANSFER~

~HAPPY BIRTHDAY to ME!!!!~

~7w2d and FIRST ultrasound~

~National Seat Belt Week~

~One step closer!~

Progress is ALWAYS good!

~What is a D-I-V-A?~